


Love Potion Mishaps

by Snowchildhero (wolfishscribbles)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Potterstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfishscribbles/pseuds/Snowchildhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kankri’s potions project goes haywire when Cronus takes a love potion he made. Hilarity ensues. Includes red and pale Cronus/Kankri. Written as a request!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Potion Mishaps

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This was supposed to be a 700 word response to a drabble request, and it turned into a 2.3K word fic. I apologize it took me so long, I do not typically write this pairing and I took great pains trying to get the characterization just right. I hope it shows! Special thanks to my beta reader, Squigglenaut, who not only beta’d but helped me get over a few characterization humps.
> 
> Timeline Note: This takes place prior to Spellstuck, and can be read as a complete stand alone fanfic.

“Hey chief, what are you doing out here?” Cronus approached Kankri, who was sitting on a bench in the court yard, stirring the contents of a jar carefully.

“Oh, Cronus, you have perfect timing. I need an extra pair of hands right now. If you would please continue to stir this while I update my notes? It is vital that the potion is stirred while in direct sunlight, but if I am to get all the details correct about the brewing, I would want to watch carefully as the brewing is happening!” Kankri passed the jar to Cronus, who shrugged and began to stir it as he had been told.

“Is this for your potions project? Damn, I haven't even started mine yet and you're almost done. What the hell are you doing for it?”

“I made a love potion. It is most unorthodox, as my experimentation is not to show the uses of the potion but the dangers of it. Normally that sort of essay would not accompany a sample of the potion itself, but you read the requirements as well as I did, they are very clear that in order to receive full marks, the potions needs to be properly brewed and handed in along with the essay.” Two sets of eyes were transfixed on the swirling potion in front of them, while one pair of hands scribbled away with a quill.

“Thank you so much, Cronus, if I could trouble you to do one more task for me – slip a bit of this potion into the mouth of this flask, from there I can run a few tests to check the potency.”

“Sip it you say? Kankri, you couldn't have chosen a better student to test your potion on.” He said with a grin as he raised the jar to his lips and gulped down several mouth fulls. Kankri's jaw dropped in horror.

“I said SLIP IT, Cronus, not SIP IT!!!!! You just drank a love potion, do you know what that means?!”

“That hotties will start naturally flocking to me? Not that they aren't already, but hey every little bit helps.” Cronus grinned and handed the jar back to Kankri, who was starting to tremble with anger.

“Your behavior is ABSOLUTELY IMEBECILIC! Love potions don't work that way!!! They make the drinker fall madly in love, or in more troll related terms, have a strong red infatuation with the person who brewed the potion! In this particular case that would be me, it took me hours to brew this batch and the antidote will take at least over night before it is ready to be taken as several of the key ingredients would require me to steal from the school's store room or inform a teacher, and with the subject of my essay being the dangers of such potions that would be utterly HUMILIATING to do. Cronus, I hope you realize the severity of your actions, I know that you are not well liked among our friends at time but I thought you to be above such moronic behav-MMMPPHHH!” Kankri's tirade was interrupted by Cronus's mouth covering his own, Cronus's hands on either sides of his face. Almost instinctively, Kankri shoved Cronus off of him, trying to catch his breath.

“Kankri, I'm sorry, but I had -” Cronus was not even allowed to finish his reply, as there was already a wagging finger in his face.

“No, Cronus, I don't want to hear it. It is the epitome of triggering to step into someone's personal space zone, let alone kiss them without asking for permission or even so much as a hint of warning. While I understand that the love potion is the cause of this, I am afraid I may have to insist that we stay apart until I have managed to brew all the proper ingredients to cure you.” He took a step back from the other troll, who was looking rather like a puppy who had just been kicked.

“I didn't mean to piss you off, I swear, I would never want to do that. Kankri, I never realized before this moment just how damn perfect we are together. I mean, look at us. I'm good looking, you're smart, we are both unpopular, even if in my case everyone is wrong about me. We could go far together!” He grabbed Kankri's hands and squeezed them tightly, which Kankri yanked back.

“It is the potion speaking, Cronus, and not you. You never had any sort of romantic interest in me before that was not the same romantic interest you show to everyone, which makes your outburst even more inappropriate and obscene. I will not have you touching me without permission again! If you do, I am afraid that you will have to accept the dire consequence of my not wishing to share in your company again.” Much to Kankri's surprise, Cronus appeared very upset by this.

“It's not true though, I've actually had a pale crush on you for a long time now, but just wasn't sure when to bring it up. Only now do I realize though that those pale feelings are actually a bright red, and I'll do anything to prove it to you! Anything!” Cronus looked at him with big, bright eyes, his hands clasped together like a wiggler begging his lusus for something.

“Pale crush? Hmm, interesting, Cronus, I had always assumed that you were completely uninterested in anything that was not concupiscent. But now that you mention it, I suppose that we do have the makings of a solid moiraillegiance, if you were willing to give such a relationship a try.” An annoyed look spread across Cronus's face.

“I told you, my pale feelings were not really pale, but red, and Kankri if you don't give me a chance to show you what an awesome matesprit I can be I might have to do something drastic. So come on...” Cronus sank to one knee and took Kankri by the hand. He held the finger tips lightly, as if trying to demonstrate that he had it in him to show restraint, though his eyes continued to look eager. Kankri met his eyes with confusion. On one hand, he had no interest in entering into a concupiscent quadrant with anyone at the moment, let alone Cronus. On the other hand, he needed to buy time to brew this love potion antidote, and if Cronus was on his best behavior in the mean time, it would certainly help.

“All right, Cronus, if you insist. If you are so eager to be my matesprit, then prove it by being a perfect gentleman for a day. If after I make this antidote you still feel the same way, and I have found your behavior satisfactory, I will give your quadrant request careful consideration. If you do not cooperate, you will have no chance what so ever. So I suggest you behave yourself, and you can start by fixing your uniform...”

~*~

By the next morning, Kankri felt tired, but vaguely pleased with himself. The antidote had required some late night brewing, but it would be ready before divination class this afternoon. And Cronus had been surprisingly well behaved. Certainly it had been a little odd when he had shown up on his broomstick at his dorm window, guitar in hand and ready to serenade him, but when Kankri reminded him of the school rules, Cronus had immediately slunk back to his own dormitory. He had been waiting for him bright and early at the entrance to the Gryffindor dormitories, a place most Slytherins avoided like the plague. His uniform looked freshly washed and pressed, his shirt was tucked neatly into his pants, and his hair was combed neatly back, with only a regulation amount of hair gel in it. All of these changes were quite pleasant for Kankri, as was the fact that Cronus had offered to carry all his books today. There were were quite a few after his trip to the library for information on the antidote.

“I have to say, Cronus, I am very impressed with your behavior. It is amazing what you are capable of with the right motivation. Now if we could only tweak that motivation to be something, ah, shall we say, a bit less in the realm of physicality, this would be a rather good change for you. Ah, Aranea!” He waved to the Ravenclaw student as she approached, books in arms as always.

“Hello, Kankri, and my, Cronus, you are certainly looking sharp today.” she said as she looked him over with surprise. “Are you both on your way to breakfast?”

“Actually, we are making a detour to the library, first.” He looked her over for a second, before holding up a finger. “Aranea, while of course I always appreciate your promptness in finishing class assignments and your role as a model student to nearly everyone else in the school, I feel the need to remind you that your skirt length is higher than school regulations permit. You should consider pulling it down, as not to mar your image as a model student.” Kankri nodded, and Aranea sighed, rolling her eyes.

“It isn't THAT bad, Kankri, you are exaggerating.”

“Actually, kitten, he's not. That skirt is way too short.” Aranea and Kankri turned to look at Cronus, and then back at each other, their jaws dropped in utter shock.

“Did those words really just leave Cronus Ampora's lips?” Aranea asked, looking at him questioningly.

“Yeah, they did. Kankri's right of course. I mean, it's not so bad from over here, but when you bent down to pick up your quill before, I could totally see your panties. Black looks good on you by the way!” Aranea turned bright blue, smacked him across the face, stormed off. Kankri stood next to Cronus, staring up at him, still dumbfounded.

“What?” Cronus asked, adjusting the books in his arms. “I was just making a point, her skirt was short.” Kankri opened his mouth for a second as if to say something, and then closed it.

“You know what, Cronus. Let's skip the library. In fact, let's skip transfiguration all together. You are going to come up stairs to my dormitory, it should be empty by now.

“Are you feeling all right, Kankri?” Cronus reached out and put a hand on his forehead. “Not that I object to getting into your bedroom, but this isn't like you at all.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

~*~

Sneaking a Slytherin into the Gryffindor common room was breaking not only school rules, but the unspoken social laws that existed within Hogwarts. Being caught was risking everything, but at this point, Kankri saw it as an absolute emergency. The potion was sitting on the window ledge, getting its last five minutes of sun. Kankri tapped the windowsill impatiently, a glass of pumpkin juice to mix it with at the ready. Cronus on the other hand lay spread out on Kankri's bed, arms behind his head, looking as if he didn't have a care in the world. Grinning and rolling on to his side, he began to pat the side of his bed suggestively.

“Why don't you join me? If we're gonna cut class, we might as well have a little fun.”

“Cronus, that's not why I brought you up here.”

“You know I see your broomstick in the corner over there, I wouldn't mind taking a spin on that thing if you know what I mean.”

“Well, actually, I am quite proud of my broomstick, it has all the flash and look of the vintage Firebolt model, yet the inner workings of it are sleek and modern. I would be happy to let you ride my broom sometime, Cronus, but now-” Cronus's grin had widened as he spoke, and Kankri groaned. “That was I take it, an innuendo?”

“Yup.”

“Oh thank god, time is up! Here's your pumpkin juice, Cronus, drink it like a good troll so that I do not need to funnel the liquid down your throat.

“Hey, if you are into that sort of thing, babe, I can try anything once.” He gave Kankri a wink, before downing the contents. For a few moments, there was nothing. And then, Cronus dropped the glass. “...Shit. Kankri, I-” Kankri brought a finger to his lips.

“No words now. Let's just get to divinations class and never speak of this again.”

~*~

Both of them had been remarkably silent through class. At the end, the class was given time to drink a cup of tea, and start their homework assignment. Cronus examined the leaves, flicking through his guide book to see about their meaning.

“Today is an excellent time to see about forming new allegiances. They will prove to be strong and potentially life saving...” Cronus glanced over his book towards Kankri, whose silence had almost been errie.

“Yo, Kankri. Wanna be moirails?” Kankri blinked and put down his tea cup, turning to face Cronus in surprise.

“You know, Cronus, I find it very interesting that you should pose this question now. I have actually been giving the matter quite a bit of thought, since truth be told you and I have always had a high tolerance for each other's company. Our temperaments vary at times and may not always go together one-hundred percent smoothly, but I think as a whole, they are truly able to jive with each other. You also shouldn't be bothered by the fact that I enjoy to make all my point clear, and I in turn can assist you with your school work and your social behaviors that some of the others find to be off putting.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” Kankri set down his tea cup, and being uncertain what to do next, put out his hand. “I suppose this means we are pale.” Cronus smirked and clutched his hand tightly, before pulling him in for a hug and a pat on the back. Kankri was a bit unprepared for the contact, but after the events of today, he did not object, especially as Cronus pulled away quickly enough and did not try to grab anything he shouldn't. Flashing him a smile, Cronus met Kankri's eyes.

“This could be the start of something good.”


End file.
